Nitrous Christianity

About 8 years ago I had some dental work done that required minor surgery.  I still remember sitting in the dental chair receiving the first phase of the procedure…nitrous oxide.  Otherwise known as “Laughing Gas.”  As they had me breath this stuff in I felt myself become less and less inhibited and more and more happy.  Just before I went to sleep I heard myself singing and laughing and I overheard my nurse saying ” this guy must be one happy fellow.”  Recently I saw a hilarious video on you-tube where a kid came out of his surgery still under the influence of his anesthesia and it was the same thing. A lot of laughter and good feelings in the room.  It got me to thinking, okay maybe I was doing more wishing that actual thinking, but what if pastors were given a special license to give out laughing gas before each church service.  Not enough that would cause people to fall asleep through messages but just enough to lighten everyone up.  What if we were able to stand at the door and after greeting the church members have them pass under a mist machine, like the ones you stand under at Six Flags on a hot day to cool off.  Except instead of giving off a cooling mist this machine hit everyone with a little dose of good ole’ nitrous.  Can you imagine what church would be like?  It would be so incredible!  People who normally sit and do their best gargoyle impressions through worship would suddenly transform into wild worshippers happy to be singing the praises to their God.  Cold disconnected saints would suddenly be the warmest people running to hug everyone in the room.  People prone to complaining would become the greatest prophetic voices in the region, giving out words of strengthening, encouragement, and comfort.  Pastors could preach the simplest messages and people’s hearts would be so penetrated by truth.  Miracles would happen all the time because saints wouldn’t walk in fear and doubt, they’d just believe the word and pray for dead people to rise up and sick people to be well.  Don’t even mention offering time! My God, the stingiest of all would joyfully run to give their tithes and on the way back to their seats pay for some needy kids to get some clothes, food, etc.  Giving would triple in every church and so would the blessings on the saints.  God, being ever-faithful to His word, would be releasing thirty, sixty, and a hundred-fold returns on people because of their generosity. Suddenly we’d hear about Christians throughout the world becoming debt-free, starting businesses that were incredibly successful.  Christians would single-handedly shift the world out of global recession.  The divorce rate amongst married believers would disappear because husbands and wives were suddenly so friendly toward each other. Christian families that had rifts would be reuniting and every church would run out of room because people outside of the Kingdom of God would suddenly want “in” just so they could live like those jovial, successful, loving, happy Christians.  Also so they could get a hit of the good stuff themselves.  People would hear there is free laughing gas available and they’d come in droves all day long.  Folk, on their way to work would just stop in to get a quick shot before they headed into the office for what now was going to be an incredibly happy day. People would start finding their purpose and destinies on a new level because those gassed-up Christians would always be prophesying the heart of God to the people around them.

Sound too good to be true?  It’s not really because Paul said we can have as much of this nitrous oxide as we want.  In Ephesian 5:18 Paul tells us to continually be getting filled with the Spirit of God.  The spirit of God is not only the counselor and comforter sent from Heaven to guide the saints into all truth, but He’s also the greatest joy merchant the world has ever known.  The laughing gas man has created can’t compare to what God has freely given.  I encourage you, the next time you get a chance…breath in the Holy Spirit.  Inhale deeply as possible and allow Him to change your depression and frustration to joy and laughter.  Watch your problems suddenly get smaller in your mind because of the euphoric joy you are now feeling.  Get intoxicated on the Holy Spirit and drop the doubts and inhibitions the enemy has shackled you with through religion.  Do yourself a favor and breathe in some Holy nitrous oxide and meanwhile I’ll look more into getting those special licenses for pastors.